The Most Obscure Packers/Bengals Preview You Will Ever Read

Greg Matzek Posted: Sept. 18, 2009

I hinted at this in the "Our Experts Predict" feature at 620WTMJ.com, but I wanted to flush it out a little more in a blog entry. What can I say, the creative juices are flowing and I need to capitalize on it...never know when they'll flow again.

So, rather than give you a simple Packers/Bengals preview and prediction, I'm gonna spice things up and use album titles to tell the story - that's right, album titles. The reason for this angle is purely because the Emmy's air on Sunday night (check your local listings). I realize the Emmy's award television greatness, but it always makes me think of the Grammy's. A bit of a reach I know, but whatever...let's get nuts:

Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers will try to open 2-0 for the third straight season Sunday at Lambeau Field, where they will take on a Cincinnati Bengals club that is seeking Rejuvenation (The Meters, 1974) having lost four straight on the road to NFC foes.

The Packers were not sharp offensively in their opener against the Bears - leaving some to wonder What's going On (Marvin Gaye, 1971), but Rodgers was able to hit the Sticky Fingers (Rolling Stones, 1971) of Packer WR Greg Jennings in the final minutes to seal the deal and start 1-0. Who's Next (The Who, 1971...wow...1971 was a crazy good year for music)? The sports team equivalent to "Cash For Clunkers", the Cincinnati Bengals.

There are Rumours (Fleetwood Mac, 1975) that with a physically healthy Carson Palmer, and a mentally healthy Chad Ochocinco, This Year's Model (Elvis Costello, 1978) of the Bengals is primed to restore the Mothership Connection (Parliament, 1975) that took them to the playoffs just a few seasons ago. That notion may just be a Siamese Dream (Smashing Pumpkins, 1993) however, after the Bengals stunning 12-7 loss to the Denver Broncos following an 87-yard, Immaculate Collection (Madonna, 1990) by Brandon Stokely off a tipped pass from, Mr. Excitement (Jackie Wilson, 1992), Kyle Orton.

In regards to the Packers, The Blueprint (Jay-Z, 2001) for playing right tackle was not followed by Allen Barbre who allowed two sacks against the Bears in his first NFL start. Despite the frequent Rush Of Blood To The Head (Coldplay, 2002) of Aaron Rodgers, McCarthy told the Packers' official Web site that he is not ready to replace Barbre or any of the starting offensive lineman yet.

Meanwhile, Carson Palmer and the Bengals will be facing Green Bay's newly installed 3-4 defense that has an Appetite For Destruction (Guns 'n Roses, 1987). The scheme worked well last week, as the Packers built The Wall (Pink Floyd, 1979) against Chicago's run game, limiting the Bears to 2.8 yards per carry and forcing Jay Cutler into a Downward Spiral (Nine Inch Nails, 1994) with a career-high four interceptions.

Palmer, who missed 12 games in 2008 after partially tearing a ligament in his right elbow, wasn't Bad (Michael Jackson, 1987), but he wasn't exactly a Ten (Pearl Jam, 1991) going 21 of 33 for 247 yards and two interceptions in week one. He will try to avoid the Natty Dread (Bob Marley and the Wailers, 1974) of Al Harris and show that the Bengals are not Pretenders (the Pretenders, 1980) while leading his team to their first road win versus an NFC club since a 31-16 victory over New Orleans on Nov. 19, 2006.

Packers safety Atari Bigby who had three tackles Sunday, may be unavailable against the Bengals after suffering a knee sprain in week 1. But the Packers have Help (The Beatles, 1965) in the waiting - one of their Toys In The Attic (Aerosmith, 1975), Aaron Rouse or Derrick Martin could start in place of Bigby.

Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco caught five passes for 89 yards in Sunday's loss. He has been The Stranger (Billy Joel, 1977) to the end zone having not caught a touchdown in his last five games. Still, Plastic Ono Band (John Lennon, 1970) said he'd do the "Lambeau Leap" into the stands if he scores Sunday.

Green Bay won 24-10 on Dec. 3, 1995 in the last meeting of the two teams at Lambeau Field; and there's no reason to think there won't be Blood On The Tracks (Bob Dylan, 1975) again when the two teams meet at the Funhouse (The Stooges, 1970) on Sunday.

I have more, but Nevermind (Nirvana, 1991).

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The Most Obscure Packers/Bengals Preview You Will Ever Read